And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
How naked do you want me to be?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
