and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
