dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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