He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
