so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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