Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize