he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
