I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
