I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
