i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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