I wish my penis had an off switch
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize