Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
