so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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