did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
