after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
