im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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