I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
