I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
