I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Michael Bay diarrhea
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
