I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
