evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
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I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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