windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
