Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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