Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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