I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize