Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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