I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
