All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
