Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
