Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
