i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
