goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
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I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
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I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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