its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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