Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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