and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I need a beard to bite.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
