I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
