I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
