i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
