come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
