Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
