I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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