No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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