On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
