Got a toothbrush?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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