RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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