How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
