It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize