I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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