i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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