And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
