I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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