its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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