i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
