i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
