I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
