He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
