my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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