I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
