So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
