We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
