South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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