OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she smelled like a LAN party
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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