last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
