therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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