once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
