'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
