so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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